break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
