I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
