It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
