Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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