At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
