I have demons in me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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