where am i from again
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
