im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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