i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
People in love make me want to vomit
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
