Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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