plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
