You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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