are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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