She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
