I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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