3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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