The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
