If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
