It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
