You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
