Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
