Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
