maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
