I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
