I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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