Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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