I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
