But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
