it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
