I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
