'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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