she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
