what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
