Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
