is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
