honey bunches of taint.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
