Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it because I queefed?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
