I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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