Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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