I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
