exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
