I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just gargled with NyQuil
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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