Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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