Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
