went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
