She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
