So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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