Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
