just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
