U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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