mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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