Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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