I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
